Bu yuan - Elva Hsiao

I am alright.
Everyday I say this to hypnotize myself.
But I have got too much that I have to must keep to myself.
I have no other alternatives.

And I kept blaming myself.
Not being firm enough.
Not doing as much.
Not being smart enough.
Not doing well enough.
And to get such results which is not up to my expectations.
I hate myself more.
And I still cannot get over with it.
Cause she is right about me.
I chose this death route myself.
And with some supporting her, and right now only found one who feels that I am right.
What should I do then?
I had enough of all the breakdowns.
And like what he said, sometimes we just need someone to listen.
And not more harsh words to make me feel worse about myself
Or even the attitude that you deserve it.
Because you dont know what I am going through.

Wednesday, BF came to my house for mahjong and pizza.
[Plus a little celebration for Yixiang]
Then we went for supper.
Mad and Jack stayed over, to supposedly do IB.
Then Thursday my whole IB group went to Mad house to chiong IB.
And I slept at 4.30am.
Friday, IB was screwed up.
After that lingerie club went to watch Eragon.
Witness a log eating competition.
Dinner at chomp chomp [I just love the food there]
Then to Ken house to watch Saw 3 which made us all doze off
And back home.
Saturday, Lia and Qiang came to my house to play mahjong.
And I paid a lot of school fees to them.
Then second round, Jack joined in.
That idiot is always in luck.
Then supper and Jack requested a third round.
And I think we 3 regretted because we lost money to him.
So the whole thing was 3 plus pm till 6 plus am.
And I slept till 4pm for the first time.
Plus super super broke.
Wonder how I am going to survive next few weeks.

Song intro: Bu yuan - Elva Hsiao